Why am I happy?

 20260214

Why am I happy?

Actually, the question should be  "Why was I happy the day before? "

It was because of my dream.

I dreamt about my elder brother.

I never wanted to write about him before.

He was a trouble of the family. 

He was not retarded but he was slow.  He was slow in learning but quick in gambling. I helped him with his homework since we were six or seven. He was a gambler all his life since early ages. But he never worked,   and he never finished school.

His money, only small money, was always from our grandmother.   My grandmother forgave him and loved him,  And gave him money as long as she can afford.   A few coins will do sometimes.  We were a poor family. We were extremely poor even to the edge of hungry.  Although I can eat every day.   It was never a real hungry but we are at the edge of it.

And it was good.   It was healthy for thoughts to develop. If I was in a well-off family,  I might not have developed a mind to see it from the bottom.  I might not have developed a mind to concern about our universe and everything in it.   You can find many things with such a concern.

Everybody in my family was annoyed with my elder brother.  It is very bad for a poor family with a gambler to support.

My elder brother died early in his fifties.

Everything was quiet since then.

He was gradually fading away from my memory for the last 20 years.

I have a very good dream to dream about him the night before.

It was a very happy moment in the dream.

I am seldom so happy like this. But it was a dream. He came back to talk with me.   We were meeting in a very good restaurant with a garden. And he dressed well.  Not like the poor look before.

We were talking to each other and walking outside the garden in a comfortable and leisure manner.

And then I woke up in the mood of happiness. 

I was happy and I don't know why.

Maybe the unhappiness was gone in the dream.

Happiness was from unhappiness.

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