An Unending Grief of China

  

The grief had been lasting for a long time then people said it is the longest grief in China.

I love the poem since I was in my early teens.  Yet, I cannot understand the poem until a recent discovery.

It was in the night when my grandmother died and we had to move away from the old house because we could not pay the rent.

My brother and I had rented a small room far away in the suburbs.

We carried only a few things from the old house.  One was a large old clock.

I could not sleep that night,  and then I heard the strike of the clock once every hour.

Suddenly the line from the unending grief sprang into my mind.

遲遲鐘鼓初長夜。耿耿星河欲曙天。

I had my first unending night when the stars were burning the light and the hour was late with the clock striking.

It was only a simple love story.

The king was  crazily  in love for a woman,   and for political reasons,  he had to execute the woman.  And then he went for a war.

 When he came back from the war,  everything was the same as before, except people was getting old.  Yet his love had not been subsided.

椒房阿監青娥老

The eunuchs in the winter room with walls heavily covered with chili paste to keep warm were old, like the aged maids.

He was still accompanied by  eunuchs after the war.

What's it all about?  How come the poet can master Chinese  language so perfectly?  It was so beautiful that everyone cannot forget?

I was sitting in a park in Hong Kong island.  Some one turned on his radio,  I heard this poem again. 

My feeling of grief was suddenly aroused.

I cannot explain this feeling.

歸來池苑皆依舊。太液芙蓉未央柳。

When the king came back to his old palace,   the garden was same as before.  The trees and flowers had not changed.

What's the difference?

Why the emotion cannot be settled?

Everything was the same. Yet the beauty was gone.

It seems to be a lightning flashed into my mind.  

It's not a love story.  It must not be a love story.

It is the story of human emotions.

What the  king had been  searching was not a lady,   but the beauty itself.

He was not allowed to search for the beauty for political reasons,  he have to kill the beauty with his own hand.

Yet when he came back,  He tried  furiously to search for the beauty again.

But the beauty was gone forever.

note

Sorry I have to interrupt a little here:

In the emotions of the Chinese literature,  beauty is same with truth.  beauty is  together  with truth.   What the king had been searching were more than a single beauty.  It must be a complex feeling about everything.

忽聞海上有仙山

山在虛無縹緲間

中有一人字太真

蓬萊宮中日月長 ~ ~

she is there.

her name is 太真

it means "the highest truth"

長恨歌

唐朝白居易

漢皇重色思傾國，御宇多年求不得。楊家有女初長成，養在深閨人未識。
天生麗質難自棄，一朝選在君王側。回眸一笑百媚生，六宮粉黛無顏色。
春寒賜浴華清池，溫泉水滑洗凝脂。侍兒扶起嬌無力，始是新承恩澤時。
雲鬢花顏金步搖，芙蓉帳暖度春宵。春宵苦短日高起，從此君王不早朝。
承歡侍宴無閒暇，春從春遊夜專夜。後宮佳麗三千人，三千寵愛在一身。
金屋妝成嬌侍夜，玉樓宴罷醉和春。姊妹弟兄皆列土，可憐光彩生門戶。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。驪宮高處入青雲，仙樂風飄處處聞。
緩歌慢舞凝絲竹，盡日君王看不足。漁陽鼙鼓動地來，驚破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城闕煙塵生，千乘萬騎西南行。翠華搖搖行復止，西出都門百餘里。
六軍不發無奈何，宛轉蛾眉馬前死。花鈿委地無人收，翠翹金雀玉搔頭。
君王掩面救不得，回看血淚相和流。黃埃散漫風蕭索，雲棧縈紆登劍閣。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗無光日色薄。蜀江水碧蜀山青，聖主朝朝暮暮情。
行宮見月傷心色，夜雨聞鈴腸斷聲。天旋地轉回龍馭，到此躊躇不能去。
馬嵬坡下泥土中，不見玉顏空死處。君臣相顧盡沾衣，東望都門信馬歸。
歸來池苑皆依舊，太液芙蓉未央柳。芙蓉如面柳如眉，對此如何不淚垂。
春風桃李花開日，秋雨梧桐葉落時。西宮南內多秋草，落葉滿階紅不掃。(花開日 一作：花開夜；南內 一作：南苑)
梨園弟子白髮新，椒房阿監青娥老。夕殿螢飛思悄然，孤燈挑盡未成眠。
遲遲鐘鼓初長夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。鴛鴦瓦冷霜華重，翡翠衾寒誰與共。
悠悠生死別經年，魂魄不曾來入夢。臨邛道士鴻都客，能以精誠致魂魄。
爲感君王輾轉思，遂教方士殷勤覓。排空馭氣奔如電，昇天入地求之遍。
上窮碧落下黃泉，兩處茫茫皆不見。忽聞海上有仙山，山在虛無縹渺間。
樓閣玲瓏五雲起，其中綽約多仙子。中有一人字太真，雪膚花貌參差是。
金闕西廂叩玉扃，轉教小玉報雙成。聞道漢家天子使，九華帳裏夢魂驚。
攬衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔銀屏迤邐開。雲鬢半偏新睡覺，花冠不整下堂來。
風吹仙袂飄飄舉，猶似霓裳羽衣舞。玉容寂寞淚闌干，梨花一枝春帶雨。(闌 通：欄；飄飄 一作：飄颻)
含情凝睇謝君王，一別音容兩渺茫。昭陽殿裏恩愛絕，蓬萊宮中日月長。
回頭下望人寰處，不見長安見塵霧。惟將舊物表深情，鈿合金釵寄將去。
釵留一股合一扇，釵擘黃金合分鈿。但教心似金鈿堅，天上人間會相見。
臨別殷勤重寄詞，詞中有誓兩心知。七月七日長生殿，夜半無人私語時。
在天願作比翼鳥，在地願爲連理枝。天長地久有時盡，此恨綿綿無絕期。

Yes its cold description and its  more than cinema magic.  Every line is a picture., yet it is not a picture.  It seems to be a song,  Yet it is not a song. It is only a line. A line to fix into your mind. You have to read it many times.  You have to read it many years. AND THEN if you're lucky, you can see the author. You can see the poet. The poet is hiding himself behind the lines. He is a genius. He can foresee things happen in thousands of years. It is only a dance. It turns in slow movement.  With music and costume in feathered silk.  And it never satisfies the king. The king wanted to see it once and once again. Yet they are separated. They are separated in two places. They are separated in heaven and in earth. And the poet told you. You will see each other again.天上人間會相見 Isn't him a poet? Maybe no. He is more than a poet.

And that is the reason for the Chinese to study Chinese. It only exists in the Chinese language. It cannot be translated.

You'll be inspired.

.........